Over the years I have worked with many singles and couples who struggle with trusting others. Believe it or not, the difficulty comes from our growing separation and independence from one another. Yes. The more time we spend on our own, toiling to become self-reliant, the greater increases our world of distrust.
Why? Simply put, we lack the ability to trust others because opportunities to meet and know strangers grow infrequent. As we get older and as society constantly modernizes, opportunities to participate in open dialog become less involuntary or happen less by chance. We are no longer IN school like the baby-boomers and Generation X. Thanks to technology many of our educational programs are moving to online models which have reduced moments for cultural engagement and discussion. We change work environments less often and for many of us the work environment is a home office. Farewell water cooler conversations about weekend plans that teach us about the habits and rituals of our neighbors. We have stopped communing for the sake of leisure. Life is now on a schedule, itemized to the second on a Sunday from sunrise soccer games to forgotten family dinners. We download our favorite songs. Now there is no reason to visit a record store where we might bump into someone who looks nothing like us (totally opposite in fact) and share our zeal for Dishwalla, Dionne Farris, or Dvorak. And because bookstores have been usurped by an internet mastermind, what is the likely chance we will run into our soulmate in the classic lit section reaching for the same French novelist? All hope is lost!
How can we get our ability to trust back? How can we build new and improve our existing relationships?
Let’s start with a friendly smile and a very simple greeting, “Hello.”
Next week we’ll talk about letting go of doubt and those preconceived notions. 😉
Want help improving your relationship(s)? Send me an email.